After dropping off my stuff I went back to London zone 1, got off at Piccadilly and saw a busker doing a circle show. He changed into superman and got people to do things but not much happened. I gave him a pound in support of a future colleague. Saw where Avenue Q and Les Miserables were playing. I saw a strip club but they weren't open yet. Then I did something I wanted to do when I came at the age of 12. I saw a movie in an English Cinema. It was mostly the same. Small differences like the movie nachos didn't have cheese. Just salsa and jalapenos. Maybe they had cheese hidden somewhere that I didn't see.


So Terminator Salvation was all right.

I went home, slept. Got up looked watched tv, went to the local shop in Fultham, and slept the afternoon. Then I walked to a karaoke place I read about online. I walked forever before finding the Duke of Wellington
 

 

It wasn't the pub I had intended, and that was good cause it was the pub that had the karaoke that night. The Wishing Well that I had intended to find was further down the road and had karaoke the next night. The food was all right and the people friendly.

There was even a pregnant woman singing the Karaoke classic, Black Velvet.

Spent a lot of time watching TV, wandering the streets of Feltham and Hounslow and found the Blockbuster.

I'm blown away by the things that are exactly the same. And the things that are completely different. Do you know they drive on the wrong side of the road? Of course you do. But they drive on the wrong side of the cars too. And that's just wrong.

Speaking of TV. There was a show called MI High. About 3 school students who work for MI9 in deep cover. But their boss who is deep cover as the janitor was Danny John Jules of Red Dwarf. The episode was titled "A Kind of Magic" which is not only a Queen Reference but also a Highlander reference, so even though it was Power Rangers bad I enjoyed the experience.

Andre the Giant has a posse:

Well, isn't that interesting. I've spent some time just now reviewing my past entries in the blog. Obviously I didn't get back to it "tomorrow" on my last post. Very quickly about that, the events that I was talking about then are still in my mind and my heart. I was going somewhere with everything I was saying but I'm not in that place right now. I have remembered who I am, why I don't do drugs or lie or do irrevocable things to my body.

The whole course of this blog I have been writing about CHANGE. I wanted to improve my life. For a majority of the blog I've written about leaving the club. I hated it for a while there and wanted nothing more than to leave and live a good life outside. I didn't do that cause I felt as a 450 lb man there weren't many options for work. I wanted to move into my van to keep my world so narrow I'd do nothing but work and work out. I then wanted to have a grand trip where I'd lose a pound in every state and not leave that state until the goal was met so I could then be a 350 pound man with guitar and busking skills would have more ability to succeed in the world.

Now, months later I'm actually under 400 lbs. I weighed 398.0 this morning before my workout. And I once again am contemplating my options. I no longer hate the club the same way I did. I have accepted the money is less in 4 ways that I won't get into now. I've accepted the beautiful women all around me that are a sweet torture for my little heart. However the times they are a changing and the club is no exception. Policy changes and a change in the power structure have changed the way I feel about the club. I think things are going in a bad direction and now the only hope we have in the form of our fearless leader and manager Rich has been in effect rendered impotent.

Because of this on Monday I decided to get out. I called my friend Todd who works on a show on the interenet out of the Warner Brothers lot and left a message asking if there were any entry-level positions open there for me. I also called my dad and asked if the offer to move up there and build a room of my own under the house was still good. No response from Todd but my dad is ready to have me move in.

I also decided to call the girl in question from the previous entry. I told her that our I've been thinking about her and that while I have crushes on many of the girls here that I've developed strong feelings for her and that the only reason I decided to make a gay confession like that is because I'm planning to leave. She said that she loves me. That I have no idea how much she loves me. Well, she's right, I do have no idea how much she loves me or what that means but I'll take it as it is given. However she meant it it makes me feel good. But she is certainly not in a place in her life for a relationship. She's seeing a guy, maybe, I'm no longer sure, she's seeing a bunch of girls here at work and that's not something I really want to bear witness to. So there is nothing really to explore with her anyway so I'm not going to miss out on anything on that front. If it were someone else I'd be up for messing around and not having it mean anything, but she already means a great deal to me so I don't think I could be casual with her.

So now I'm looking at the choices I have. I can live in any city in my van. I can start a karaoke business anywhere. I've saved some seed money for exactly this contingency. With that in mind I have LA with or without a job with HD Films, moving to my parent's house and building a room, get in shape with my whole family and have the people I love the most right there with me, move to Arizona with my best friend Ben, stay around this area but not in the club near my other best friend Mike, move to Sacramento where I'm close to my parents and very near my brothers where there are many bars where I can ply my trade, Tour the country in my van and various combinations thereof.

The most attractive to me right now are LA with a job and living at my parent's house. If Todd were to call me with a job I'd put in my notice immediately. However, I think I'll try a combination. Go to the parents, spend some time in the bosom of my family and recharge my soul after 5 years in a strip club. I only want to go if I am productive, creating art, working and being with my family. I'd like to test out my ability to make karaoke happen by doing it there then I can be assured I can do it anywhere.

So, for now I'll keep thinking

 

Woke up, did 30 minutes on the elliptical machine, showered and shaved. All three of those things I hadn't done in a while and damn did it feel good to have done them. I kept up with my diet all through work and then ate crap afterward. I went to karaoke and sang one song then went to the gym. I actually did my chest and bicep day huzzah. If only I hadn't eaten those doritos (bags), potato wedges, ice cream and chicken strips.

I woke up this morning on Evelyn st in Sunnyvale. I logged on and started checking out the coverage of the Obama inauguration on CNN.com. While waiting for it I was chatting with Mike and listening to Jesus Christ Superstar. First of all, came to appreciate that i never fully appreciated how great it is. Second I came up with my idea Jesus Christ Super Size(d). In it I might talk about the lesser known Apostles: Mary, Biff, Rufus and the greates Apostle of all... Rudolph.

I was sick and my computer was broken so there hasn't been any writing for a while, but let's face it, I was lazy before I was sick. I was doing very well on diet and exercise before getting sick. I need to get back to it.

I'm at karaoke at the Quarter note now. I'm kinda sad in general and if I weren't going on this trip I would have to quit anyway cause being around beautiful naked women all the time is killing me. So, that's positive. Seriously though. I am excited about the Jesus idea.

Damn, I erased the post

Not much happened today. Woke up, voted, did laundry, worked out, worked, worked out again, we got our first black President, met with a friend at a bar, made plans how we will both become stars, made out with her a little, played some guitar.

It's the beginning of a new month and like every new month, year, day or week I try to make this one count. I've been trying to take control of my weight, my life, my fate for years now. But I've explored the times when I'm successful, and when I backsilde and I'm doing somethings now help make this time work.

1 ) I'm making this the main focus of my life. I've moved into my van to cut all distractions to a minimum. I'm also telling the world about it in this blog like my friend Todd suggested years ago.

2) I've got an accountability partner. I check in once a week with my mom to tell her my plan for the week and If a day goes by where I don't do my plan I must call her and explain why I didn't do what I said I would.

So what is my plan? Well, I have many areas where I want to improve, I want to draw, paint, sing, play guitar, get in shape, start a karaoke business, be a star, direct movies, write movies, write books, write and draw comic books become a master pickup artist, save the world and marry the biggest movie starlet in the world. Seeing the need to focus, I'm going to work on just a few areas. Right now I'm training for the Magical Mystery Tour where I travel the country busking, drawing and not leaving a state until I've lost a pound.

So to train for the trip I need to get my body and my busking in shape. My guitar playing now is poor and I have few songs I can strum and sing. So I'm working on that for a half hour a day. I weighed myself today at 455 lbs. I know, it's insane, but I was once 483 and then lost down to below 400 so I just need to swing that yo-yo down again. I intend to get to 400 lbs before I leave, then lose a pound in every State so when I return from my journey I'll only be morbidly obese.

So starting today:
Drink at least a gallon of water a day
Lift weights 4 days a week and sandbag the other 3
Cardio 7 days a week
Guitar 1/2 hour a day
Eat healthy frozen meals and protein supplements
Blog EVERY day

I've already hit the gym once today, played guitar, eaten my planned meal and drank some water. I need to polish off my water and lift the sand bag (hard in the rain when you're homeless but I'm going to find a way)